I awake after being able to sleep in a little, my husband had gotten up with the baby at about 5:30, so I could rest. That was so sweet, and I was so grateful for the extra hour and a half to sleep in! So I walk out of our bedroom to my little sweet N telling me he needed some milk! My husband was busy with the baby, he had just finished his bottle and needed to be changed. So with some asking my little sweet N, how he was supposed to ask for his milk, he finally said "please, may I have some milk". Sure sweet little N, I would be happy to get it for you! THEN.... while pouring him a cup of milk, into the cup that he had gotten out, I realized there was still a cup of milk in the refrigerator so I get that cup out and discover that it just had a little bit left in it. I decided that rather than waste the milk that was already in the refrigerator I would pour that remaining milk into his cup. Well that did not sit well with him and he began throwing a fit. Now here is where the failure on my part took place. Instead of reacting calmly and rationally to the fit throwing, now hanging on my leg, sweet little N, I blew up! I was so upset with the attitude he has been having lately, that I lost it! I threw his milk into the refrigerator, grabbed him up and spanked his little bottom. You would think that would have been enough for his sweet little heart. BUT I continued to lose it and I took him down the hall and tossed him onto his bed, and went storming from his room slamming his door (which by the way, they get time outs for!). Then I proceeded to my bedroom and slammed my door! Oh boy is this really me!!!
After spending 5 minutes cooling off in my room, leaving my poor husband (who was changing the baby and had no idea what was going on), to deal with this situation, I emerged! Still not too calm but feeling like I needed to go and talk to my sweet little N. Going into his room, where he was now standing in the middle of it, looking a little unsure of what just happened. I walk up to him and get down to his level and have to apologize for yelling at him and getting upset like I did. Now if you have never had to apologize to your kids, then you have no idea how humble it makes you! After apologizing and grab him onto my lap and cuddle his little heart out. BUT I can tell that he is still not sure what to think of this whole situation. After holding him for a few minutes he decided he's done and gets up to join his brother watching Saturday morning cartoons in the living room. All this to say that I feel like a total failure today, and I now that only by the grace of my loving Heavenly Father will I be forgiven!!
This message of a loving Heavenly Father is so important to me that I always feel terrible when I lose my temper with my children, because I am supposed to be the example for them to go by!! I am supposed to be who they can trust in this world!! BUT I also know that my Heavenly Father is a powerful, forgiving, and loving God who is more wonderful that I can ever express to my children. I lay them into his hands daily, for their protection and their faith!! I am so blessed to know that nothing I can do will bring them to His loving Hands its only by His divine power that any of us are called to HIM!! Thank you Jesus for bridging that gap for us, so that we can come to God's loving hand and sit with Him in Heaven one day!!
2 Thessalonians 1:11, 12
...that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
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